So This Is What Surrender Looks Like

 Recently, a visiting missionary repeated something he had heard someone else say,

  "Just get up every morning, and do what you have to do." 

Pretty simple, right?  It really is a very simple statement, but when you think about it, it truly is the essence of living the Christian life, and it was something I needed to hear.

 At the beginning of every year, I choose a verse for the year. 

My yearly verse can usually be summed up in one word. For 2016, I chose Romans 12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.....and the word surrender is what came to mind. At the time, I had no idea how that word would manifest itself in my life. I knew it wasn't something I could force or resolve to make happen, but I claimed it as my word for the year and left it in God's hands to work out the details. Many times in the past few months, I've thought about that word, and have to admit, I was wondering if I had the right word!

Maybe a little update on my life is in order...

My husband and I are both 58 years old, parents of eight children, and sixteen grandchildren. Five of our children came by way of adoption, and three are still at home. We are in our 29th year of homeschooling, and our youngest daughter is nine years old, so we have eight years of school left. Brian has often joked that our pension and the child tax benefit will overlap for about a year. Still, with each year that Danica gets older, I've enjoyed a little more freedom, and I've been looking forward to a new chapter in life. 

Then came June, and circumstances changed. One of our adult sons moved back home, and with him came a sweet pink bundle...grandchild # 16. I commented to someone....more than once...."I was seeing a light at the end of the tunnel, and someone just rolled a boulder across it for the foreseeable future." As much as I love my granddaughter, I really had been enjoying my bit of freedom. After thirty-eight years of parenting, I wasn't the least bit interested jumping back into caring for a baby. Anyone who has followed my blog over the years will find it hard to believe that I didn't jump for joy over the prospect of a new little one in our home.

Enter the visiting missionary, and his very simple statement, "Just get up every morning and do what you have to do." As I thought about that statement, a lot of things came to my mind....but mainly,  the question,

 "What has God called me to do?" 

Because ultimately, that is what I need to do...Get up every morning and do what God has for me to do. In my Bible, I have a piece of paper dated, February 28, 2007, with these words written on it, "Not My Will, But Thine Lord." I won't go into the story behind those words. No matter what the circumstances, those words are always the answer, and this time was no different. I didn't have to think long to be reminded of what I know God has called me to do. In fact, when I asked my husband that same question later that day, he didn't even hesitate with his answer, "Take care of kids." Yup, that's it....the thing that God has shown me over and over, the thing that he gave me to do when he gave me the desires of my heart. Not something that I could just quit when I got tired, or when things got hard....and believe me, there have been some extremely hard days! No, this calling isn't something that I can just say, "Okay God, it's been great...thank you for answering my prayer and blessing me with this big family, but I'm done now...I want to do something else...maybe some Me time!" Not that it's wrong to take time for myself, but this is the life that I asked God for, and this is the life that he has called me to. My life is not my own; it's bought with a price...Not my will, but thine Lord. I realized then that at this moment in time, what I need to do is help my son care for his little girl. It won't be forever, it may not be very long at all, but for now, it's what God is asking me to do. And as I've said to my husband before, " What do you do when a baby is dropped on you? You catch it!"

 And then I had that "Uh huh!" moment. 

So this is what surrender looks like...

Surrender is setting aside my desires, and my plans and just getting up every morning and doing what I need to do. The moment I got that, life became sweet again....and that little pink bundle is a big part of that sweetness! 

Thank you, Lord for working your will and your way in my life in the most unexpected ways.

A song that I wrote for my sister, Victoria, comes to mind...who knew it would one day be for me?

More Than I Could Dream

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